I am

going to look at rings today. No, I am nowhere near ready for proposal or marriage. I am stupid, and girly, and want to have thousands of dollars encrusting my finger, if only for just a few minutes.

favorite gifts

in order of favor:

1.Remembering the magnitude of God's goodness

2. Family/Friends/Micah/seeing their faces when opening presents

3.Canon Rebel + Diana Lomography Camera (that's right...I pretty much shit a brick)

4. plentiful Forever21 gift cards

5.adorably mushy photos taken of me and meekuh

As an added bonus I received an added 100 lbs to my thighs thanks to my mom's ballin fudge.

Merry (late) Christmas!

ho ho ho, part 1

I slept through almost all of the gift opening at my grandmothers house. I mean, I was there, but in the midst of 6 screaming children and many wads of paper being thrown at my face, I still somehow was dead to the world. Thanks retail! Excited for tomorrow!

over the river and through the woods

to Micah's grandmother's house we gooooooo

excited because:

a.babies
b.home cooked food
c.being treated like a guest of honor
d.SNOW


I realize my posts have been getting increasingly lame. I'm sorry.

recent news:
a. drastic haircut
b.angry chocolate deprived people taking out their christmas rage upon me
c.new ballin apartment including a new mattress pad that begs me to never get out of bed again
d.my friends suspect I've fallen off the face of the planet due to mismanagement of free time and work-consumption of all other time

I still haven't sent out my Christmas cards. Martha Stewart and all other very organized home-maker types are throwing me looks of shame. I feel it.

I don't

want to be told how I should feel by anyone anymore.

I can't

STOP LOOKING AT SLOTHS

THEY'RE SO UGLY I ADORE THEM

psuedo prostitute

The only tights I own are severely ripped at the crotch and I live in fear that some unfortunate person will see it when I bend over wearing a skirt and think I'm a hooker.

Hopefully they'll sing "Pretty Woman" to me if they do catch that fateful glimpse. That would probably make it less awkward.

DISGUSTING

presents

are overrated anyway. So when Christmas day arrives and my procrastinator boyfriend has me nothing, I will not be surprised. no, I will not even be upset. but if this ends up under the tree, I will not complain.

"Heritage, it's not just a school" :Rebel flags and lame Christmas cards

This was the text that accompanied a decal of the rebel flag on the back of the pick up in the Taco Bell Drive through. I noticed it while enjoying the fight unfolding before me. A sorority girl in pajamas was acting as mediator between three very drunk frat guys. All of the sudden, a even drunker frat guy leaps over the guard rail, dressed in elf pants, a christmas vest and matching hat.He jumped right in like he owned it. They held up the line for about 5 or so minutes, but it was so worth the wait. The magical formula of liquor+Christmas+finals+sorostitutes+bros=trashy hilarity. golden.

Today as I pulled out of the Walgreens parking lot with my self pity treat of lindt truffles and a doubleshot, I saw a very redneck man with the rebel flag on his front plate eyeing the souped up oldsmobile on gargantuan rims with disgust and I just about spewed my mocha all over the dash.

And my final funny moment: As I'm helping the cardboard picker upper man on his route for service hours:

" I usually try to get through the fort before dark before all them faggots go to the faggot bar. I hate them faggots.I ddin't mind 'em til my wife was havin us a baby and some faggot was all huggin on me telling me OOOO YER SOOO CUTE and I pushed him off of me like GET OFF ME FAGGOT"

note: Old people adore 48 packs of Hallmark cards, especially if there are cats, dogs, kittens, or puppies on the front doing something cute. ughhhhhhh

Merry Christmas!

grateful

I am grateful for:

-Sara for measuring/cutting my grids and sorting through endless buttons with me

-Drew, for buying me chocolate and supplying me with endless episodes of south park

-Micah, for making me breakfast and tolerating endless fits of embarassing babytalk

-Lauren, for being as weird and completely awkward as I am and for appreciating the spilled coke moment

-Lisa, for teaching me the art of sarcasm and the benefits of solid colors

-Leah, for making public spectacles with me and not killing me when I stole her haircut

-My mom, for my face

-My dad, for my immature sense of humor

-Kristin, for making me appreciate rain and suitcases

-Meghan, for febreezing the apartment 21,758 times a day and never leaving hair in the shower and for being generally hilarious

-Jellyfish for taking over my life

omg.

yes,please.

thinking about

the Indigo Girls concert in October and wishing to go back there. I can't help but listen to them and feel like everything is in perspective. give them a listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYcGcT-FMHc

Back at AH.I sort of missed my sunny little room. No class til 12, but I've already been through tmail,urban,amazon, etsy, and modcloth. guess it's a day to sit around and listen to music.

gaudy in the same way as:

Gossip Girl

neon colored tights

Tik Tok by Ke$ha

flourescent yellow nailpolish

red hair dye

canned hairspray

andy warhol

auto-tuned rap songs

therefore, I want it.

Eric Sandberg

Works on genetic modification, the responsibility that comes with technology, reinventing memories, and the human reaction.

weird that the sidebar of his website was saved with the image. trying to draw some inspiration for my final paintings due in a couple weeks. Maybe I'll reference some music in my pieces this time. As per usual, I'm in the mood for the Weepies. and...T.I.....? hm.

guess I never thought

you'd read my blog.

sorry I ate your cheerios. I'll buy you more, but I didn't eat very much.

the public library

Is one of my favorite places to fall into a different world.

A place that appears so quiet, is a actually full of interest.

Everyone turns and looks at my as I walk in. Micah says I'm paranoid , but I think it's because they watched me try to parallel park out front for 5 minutes.

No sooner had I pushed through those thick glass doors, I hear the piercing shout of my favorite library regular. The following will sound like I'm making fun, but I really am not. This guy has some form of turrets that causes him to involuntarily cry out every few minutes. I have heard him speak conversationally as well, and he is very laid back. I started thinking about why he would frequent the library, a place known for quiet, where his outburst would be so evident. It's because everyone is so determined to maintain composure and solitude,that he can exist there without being questioned or approached. A library is not a place of conflict or confrontation. Sometimes I want to trade places with him.

I came to find a book on Edvard Munch, to replicate one of his paintings, with little luck. There were a couple of volumes, neither very great. I snatched a Chagall instead of the Kandinksy I had been searching for. Every time I hear his name I can't help but think of that Weepies song.And then I think of that summer....

anyway.

picked up CDs which I am currently importing instead of studying for my lab final.

the artists are as follows:

Elvis Costello

Cat Power

Johnny Cash

The Notwist

The Strokes

Sonic Youth

Rilo Kiley

Hector Qirko(I am convinced he taught my cultural anthropology class)

At work I looked into a manatee research internship and an art internship at Cosmo...not really feeling qualified for either...

NFL takes Micah away from me every Sunday. blah.

night.

today's jelly

These always look so bad saved as jpegs. Another lame day of design, me liking my jellies, my teachers becoming increasingly indifferent. This is what I want to do...and yet...it feels like there's still something I've yet to stumble upon. Everyone else left class because we are really doing absolutely nothing today...and I'm still sitting here, trying to kiss ass just by being present. They really don't like me. Really. What will it take?

Jellyfish, jellyfish, jellyfish.

he is

asleep next to me

I watch each rise and fall of his chest.

thinking that I've never seen anything so beautiful,

I never want to stir him from fragile sleep.

nausea, design,nastiness

I feel like a blob of indigestion. I think it is my inner designer going " YOU SUCK" , only it's reverberating in my stomach. So, with this in mind, I'm going to find pictures/things I enjoy, and post them.

guess which one Sara made.....

color and rhythm

When I watch him play the drums, I want to paint him blue, to capture the tap in splatters of red, to mimic the beat in time with a bright yellow. A Purple explosion over the clang of the cymbals. And he is blue, turquoise, aquamarine. His music swims through me and we are painted a pale pink , shivering and new, born of curiosity and intuition.

a word from Mr. Shakur

"And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up"

-Keep Ya Head Up by 2Pac

boring

Micah is out of town and as a result, I've been eating more chocolate and watching very lame television programming. I feel really antsy. I need to be doing something with my hands at all times. Most of the time this manifests itself in the form of me picking at my eyebrows until they are crunchy from blunt ends. I know this is gross. It makes me feel less guilty to just come out and admit that I do it.

I don't want to think that I depend on Micah to an unhealthy extent...but I think it is really in my nature to need company. I find that alone, I am faced with the thoughts I usually keep tucked away. I don't like to think about unpleasant things because it just starts a trail of negativity in my brain. Inevitably, I will dream about whatever is bothering me in my waking life. So why see my problems with my eyes open?

It's late, and this is exactly why I'm being introspective. That's what happens when I'm late. I also face-stalk. Very unhealthy. Very embarassing stuff. But, I am only human, and thus very curious, and slightly self-deprecating.So, I have to have an outlet to provoke these emotions, you see.

I've been looking at alot of interesting designers, an upside to my time alone. Checking out James Victore, Sandra Suy,Gabriel Moreno, and John Madea.

I found an image by John Maeda that pretty much sums up what I feel 100 percent of the time.

I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the need to enhance my visual world as well as somehow vindicate my material world. I can't swallow politics, green solutions, religion, relationships, philosophy, and heaven forbid,trends,in one gulp.

I guess that just means it's time to sleep.

critique

Watercolor Critique was mostly long, but somewhat entertaining, primarily because the teacher told me that one of my paintings had a Georgia O'Keefe quality to it, which made me really excited. Strangely, the piece I hated was the one that got the most comments and praise, and the one I thought I loved best, had more negative feedback. Jackie said I needed to combine the looseness of my second piece to the perfectionism of my first. Oh art....when will you fight on my side?

Kristin

Kristin, this post is for you, so I hope you see it, because you'll know exactly what I mean.

I need to it rain. I need it to thunderstorm. I need the heavens to tear in half and fall to the ground. Until this happens, I'm walking aimlessly.

I want

to passionately and eloquently express myself in a way that makes those around me aware of the intricacies of our existence.

butt face towel

This morning I asked Micah if the black towel was dirty. He said no. I knew it was dirty.

After a thorough search of his closet I found a towel that was labeled on one end "butt" and on the other end "face."

I sat it on the toilet so it would be there when I was ready to get out of the shower.

When I opened the curtain, what was sitting on the toilet?

That's right..the dirty black towel.

Micah and I then had a five minute argument about whether or not the black towel was truly dirty and how the buttface towel was "stupid"

I now advise you to go watch the dane cook number on "nothing fights"

to understand the humor of this story.

P.S.-Micah I love you but I'm using the buttface towel from now on.

today

cold chills

geology lab

chocolate cravings

micah's tee shirt

no makeup

blahhhhhhhh

Dear Rachel the barista at Panera,

There was once a time that we bonded over the fact that you "really liked my eyelashes" and I didn't even think you were weird for saying something like that. In fact I was overly appreciative and told you where to get my mascara. You have provided me with numerous bagels in the past, always sliced, not toasted-just the way I like it.

But today, you wronged me.

I clearly said " A dutch apple and raisin with hazelnut cream cheese"

But once at work, to my horror I noticed a small tub of reduced fat plain cream cheese sat in the bottom of that brown paper bag. Plain cream cheese tastes nothing like the flavor explosion of hazelnut. Perhaps it even insinuates that you think I need to cut back on my fat intake, Rachel. I am hurt...scarred, even.

I ate it anyway, Rachel. But it was sad, and I was unable to enjoy the moist goodness of my baked treat. I thought we had an understanding, maybe even something like a friendship.

I was wrong, so very wrong.

I'll forgive you one day, Rachel.

My boyfriend is currently walking around campus with a tee shirt proudly displaying a menagerie of parrots, jungle animals, bunnies, and ferrets. Should I be embarrassed or proud?

I can no longer look at pictures of basset hounds....My vision gets blurry and I think I start to drool...as I roll around in fits of cutesy gurgling noises

I am sick , and so help me, if I get mono again, I'm going to run around kissing everyone on campus until I re-infect the asshole that keeps giving me this disease

oh

hey consequences, what's up?

Just the child masquerading as an adult here.

See you soon!

beer

I was at a party sipping my sugar free rockstar(it was free and I was tired) while everyone is slamming fratty light. I look over my shoulder and this 4 foot tall asain girl is screaming

"YOU WANNA FIGHT ME?!"

6ft tall girl:" BITCH YOU WANNA START SOMETHING?! YOU'RE FOUR FEET TALL"
4ft tall girl:starts crying

2 seconds later they're laughing and smiling and making introductions.
The fight started because they were trying to use the bathroom at the same time.

I learned at this very same party what "bean dipping" is. It was explained to me as a girl reached over and jiggled the underside of my left boob. This is apparently what it means to be bean dipped. Who knew?

Thank you, Natural Light.

This morning Micah made me cinnamon rolls, turkey bacon, and eggs and filled a thermos with coffee to take with me to work :]

" You say it wrong, I spank you, you say it right, I give you a cookie"

-Profesora Salinas on reflexive verbs

flamingo

I want this sculpture in my yard. Seriously.

Heard while walking across the crosswalk:

car at stoplight: "Skip, what happened?!"

Skip: I punched a wall.

hooray testosterone?

happy fridayyyyyy

Presentation

My teacher said something I said was brilliant but I think she didn't really mean it. The way some people get excited over things that aren't that great. Like.... saying that string cheese is brilliant.

It's not really brilliant, but it's not too bad.

I was also informed yesterday that I was being "high school"

you know what I say to that?

I got a hell of a lot more naps in high school,so so be it.

coffeetalk with Kristin today.

reading: Saving Jesus from the Church

a thought: If Jesus' name was like Tom or Bill would more people like him? No stigma attached?

I don't know, I think I want his name to be Esteban.

I want

a white house

in the country

with a peach tree in the front yard

and a basset hound

and a jellyfish

tomorrow

I'm going to find the face of the virgin mary in my fruit salad and announce it to the media, thus creating an international news event and bringing the cash flow from pilgrims traveling to see the holy spectacle.

my get rich quick scheme!

I could also sell my karaoke machine.

bitter

I don't think anyone has sympathy for you when you're bitter

because most people who are bitter, have been at it for so long that it is past the point of pathetic.

the door just opened by itself..no shit.

listening to modest mouse and avoiding bed.

and homework.

TVF

Tennessee Valley Fair.

Worked at the fair for three hrs selling t-shirts.

Apparently t-shirts are barter material for food?

Liiiiiiike......a box full of of caramel apples and cotton candy.(with AND without nuts!!!!11)

and deep fried cookie dough(I know, I know, shut up!)

this is why I truly love the fair. Eff the rides and craft shows, I want calories enough to supply a third world country(although I'm not even sure some fair food is fit for a third world country).

prego cravings

although I am not in fact pregnant, I want chili mangos and chocolate frosting.

the nature of the beast

It upsets me that I have to be afraid to the point of tears to be able to whisper a prayer...a prayer that may or may not be heard.

trust is a rare and strange thing.

megan fox

Is that even how her name is spelled?

I don't even think she's all that attractive.

does that make me crazy?

I'll take Beyonce over Megan , any day.

I also dislike chacos, the texture of starburst, and those nike shorts.

I'm skipping choir because I can't pronounce Phillipino words. maybe it's not even Phillipino. But the song has "ng" in it. I can't say that. I'm not going.

jellyfish, everywhere

my night: Ihop, Walmart, Jellyfish,mango tea, an unexpected phone call, Chelsea Lately, my boyfriend asleep on the couch next to me(making grunting noises)

I think my life is sort of beautiful.

ridiculous

What would you think of a person that lined their wall with PBR boxes?

You'd think they were a pretentious indie jackass , or a fratty douchbag , right?

my boyfriend is neither, but his walls do look dumb as hell.

We're going to Ihop, Hooorrayyyyyyyy

football

I don't really even follow football and I'm damn excited abut how UT is kicking ass.

Also, who knew cheerios were the best game time snack ever?

Ian, I stole your cheerios, but you will never, ever , know. I think that is why they taste so good.

but if you do happen to read this, I will buy you more cheerios.

Micah just popped his back and it sounded like someone jumped on bubble wrap.

I'll try not to get gushy here...but what a cutie.

today is a good day.

A Formal Thank You

to all my professors, for assuming that a long weekend means I can handle a week's worth of work squeezed into three days

to the mold in my apartment, for forcing me to move my shit out my tuesday so they can de-nastify the walls

to chick fil a for delicious greasy goodness

and to first friday, for existing

tonight I was royally banged

by the Royal Bangs at the Catalyst

Holyyyy crap.

What a ballin show!

sneezing

Is maybe the worst possible thing in the whole world when it happens 20 times consecutively in a quiet design class during critique.

What's worse, I think it's an allergic reaction to my new(and far to expensive) perfume.

Maybe I'm getting swine flu. Or maybe all the demons are leaving my body? No one said bless you, so I guess I'm doomed.

When I offered up my opinion on a poster being presented, my snotty voice made it sound like:

I thwink thibs ibs talding adout a pobarized ibbue

This morning, my white linen dress still smelled like sunscreen and the ocean. I'm never washing it again.

Lastly, I'm not going to geology today because it is on the hill and I will sneeze the whole time.

from a brown desk in a moldy apartment

There actually is mold in our apartment. It's underneath the century-old upholstered chair in the "living room" which is actually more or less a dumping ground for my suite mate's Japanese paraphernalia. Mostly of the food nature.My roomie, Meghan, doesn't really have a lot of dishes because her diet consists of Danimals and provolone cheese. I'm actually surprised the living room isn't cluttered with my things, because I am probably the 3rd most disorganized person I know. Number one being my seventh grade teacher, Mr.Rogers. He wore beige sweaters and had long greasy hair and took so many tangents in his lectures you'd start at the Civil War and end at the benefits of Vitamin C. I actually don't know who number two is. Maybe my dad. He likes to bury himself amongst his wires and radios and such, kind of like a safety blanket, I think. I do the same thing only with bottle caps, scrap papers, labels, shoes, etc, etc. I feel like my possessions are not really inanimate but maybe love me back just a little...

I'm excited about Design 251 because I now get to research jellyfish. I don't really feel like elaborating as to the reason. I have begun to draw jellyfish and other sea creatures on everything. Lauren's hand, my notes, Meghan's notes. I give them all mouths and eyes. Most of them are smoking. One had an afro. I feel compelled to give facial features to each and every one. Maybe it's a complex..

So in summation(don't you hate when people say that?) I don't know what to think about this semester yet. I still like my major. I dig my boyfriend, but not the way he squeezes the toothpaste tube,and I hate Andy Holt. The documentary "Dancing Outlaw" recently changed my life. I'm currently getting through Art:21 documentaries produced by PBS and "The Raw Shark Texts" as recommended by the demure and lovely Leah.

Now I'm off to pasta night at the Berry household, dragging Micah kicking and screaming behind me.

~P