"Heritage, it's not just a school" :Rebel flags and lame Christmas cards

This was the text that accompanied a decal of the rebel flag on the back of the pick up in the Taco Bell Drive through. I noticed it while enjoying the fight unfolding before me. A sorority girl in pajamas was acting as mediator between three very drunk frat guys. All of the sudden, a even drunker frat guy leaps over the guard rail, dressed in elf pants, a christmas vest and matching hat.He jumped right in like he owned it. They held up the line for about 5 or so minutes, but it was so worth the wait. The magical formula of liquor+Christmas+finals+sorostitutes+bros=trashy hilarity. golden.

Today as I pulled out of the Walgreens parking lot with my self pity treat of lindt truffles and a doubleshot, I saw a very redneck man with the rebel flag on his front plate eyeing the souped up oldsmobile on gargantuan rims with disgust and I just about spewed my mocha all over the dash.

And my final funny moment: As I'm helping the cardboard picker upper man on his route for service hours:

" I usually try to get through the fort before dark before all them faggots go to the faggot bar. I hate them faggots.I ddin't mind 'em til my wife was havin us a baby and some faggot was all huggin on me telling me OOOO YER SOOO CUTE and I pushed him off of me like GET OFF ME FAGGOT"

note: Old people adore 48 packs of Hallmark cards, especially if there are cats, dogs, kittens, or puppies on the front doing something cute. ughhhhhhh

Merry Christmas!