I am

going to look at rings today. No, I am nowhere near ready for proposal or marriage. I am stupid, and girly, and want to have thousands of dollars encrusting my finger, if only for just a few minutes.

favorite gifts

in order of favor:

1.Remembering the magnitude of God's goodness

2. Family/Friends/Micah/seeing their faces when opening presents

3.Canon Rebel + Diana Lomography Camera (that's right...I pretty much shit a brick)

4. plentiful Forever21 gift cards

5.adorably mushy photos taken of me and meekuh

As an added bonus I received an added 100 lbs to my thighs thanks to my mom's ballin fudge.

Merry (late) Christmas!

ho ho ho, part 1

I slept through almost all of the gift opening at my grandmothers house. I mean, I was there, but in the midst of 6 screaming children and many wads of paper being thrown at my face, I still somehow was dead to the world. Thanks retail! Excited for tomorrow!

over the river and through the woods

to Micah's grandmother's house we gooooooo

excited because:

a.babies
b.home cooked food
c.being treated like a guest of honor
d.SNOW


I realize my posts have been getting increasingly lame. I'm sorry.

recent news:
a. drastic haircut
b.angry chocolate deprived people taking out their christmas rage upon me
c.new ballin apartment including a new mattress pad that begs me to never get out of bed again
d.my friends suspect I've fallen off the face of the planet due to mismanagement of free time and work-consumption of all other time

I still haven't sent out my Christmas cards. Martha Stewart and all other very organized home-maker types are throwing me looks of shame. I feel it.

I don't

want to be told how I should feel by anyone anymore.

I can't

STOP LOOKING AT SLOTHS

THEY'RE SO UGLY I ADORE THEM

psuedo prostitute

The only tights I own are severely ripped at the crotch and I live in fear that some unfortunate person will see it when I bend over wearing a skirt and think I'm a hooker.

Hopefully they'll sing "Pretty Woman" to me if they do catch that fateful glimpse. That would probably make it less awkward.

DISGUSTING

presents

are overrated anyway. So when Christmas day arrives and my procrastinator boyfriend has me nothing, I will not be surprised. no, I will not even be upset. but if this ends up under the tree, I will not complain.

"Heritage, it's not just a school" :Rebel flags and lame Christmas cards

This was the text that accompanied a decal of the rebel flag on the back of the pick up in the Taco Bell Drive through. I noticed it while enjoying the fight unfolding before me. A sorority girl in pajamas was acting as mediator between three very drunk frat guys. All of the sudden, a even drunker frat guy leaps over the guard rail, dressed in elf pants, a christmas vest and matching hat.He jumped right in like he owned it. They held up the line for about 5 or so minutes, but it was so worth the wait. The magical formula of liquor+Christmas+finals+sorostitutes+bros=trashy hilarity. golden.

Today as I pulled out of the Walgreens parking lot with my self pity treat of lindt truffles and a doubleshot, I saw a very redneck man with the rebel flag on his front plate eyeing the souped up oldsmobile on gargantuan rims with disgust and I just about spewed my mocha all over the dash.

And my final funny moment: As I'm helping the cardboard picker upper man on his route for service hours:

" I usually try to get through the fort before dark before all them faggots go to the faggot bar. I hate them faggots.I ddin't mind 'em til my wife was havin us a baby and some faggot was all huggin on me telling me OOOO YER SOOO CUTE and I pushed him off of me like GET OFF ME FAGGOT"

note: Old people adore 48 packs of Hallmark cards, especially if there are cats, dogs, kittens, or puppies on the front doing something cute. ughhhhhhh

Merry Christmas!