balance

The most terrifying moments happen when the realization that life is so fragile becomes too apparent. How could I be so blessed and still have my eyes shut to reality?

hahaha

Just on an old episode of America's next Top Model: "I'm going to think of all the ways I can kill you while you sleep tonight, Giselle. Should it be food poisoning? Cyanide? I just hate you so much." Wow. Maybe I should learn to be so open?

vicarious

I've always thought my friends were the strongest, most beautiful ladies I've known. It seems now that we're all floundering for a reason as to why we've let ourselves down with what seemed a simple compromise.

life.

I'm so tired of fighting for happiness. Isn't love supposed to be easy eventually ? Do we never get to see a return for our pain? I can't believe in a world that could allow for that kind of injustice.

My mom just told me my cupcakes were dry. I would like to make it known that they are very moist. People always seem to kick you when you're down. I guess it's stupid to be upset over that, but regardless, here I sit about to watch The Little Mermaid, going through all my kleenex.

penny bitch

Soo, I am currently dining, if you could call it that at sturbucks with leah. I went to the counter to get a white mocha (lame, generic, I know), and the total came to 4.61. I have 4 dollars and the change, but I really needed a penny as to not break the bigger coins(I was going to give her 2 Quarters, a dime, and a penny). I asked her to borrow a penny saying" Is it trashy to ask to borrow a penny from the tip jar?", (a PENNY), and she gave me this "UMMMM BITCHHHH" look , so I go " Oh....nevermind." As she was handing me the drink I said "Thank You!" and she gave me the blankest, sarcastic...est(a new word..), nastiest stare. I told Leah that karma would get back to her and someone would be nasty to that ridic bitch. Leah said it probably already had considering the mood that girl is in..... So is that like pre-karma? Karma that predicts offenses yet to happen? Anyway, eff that ho.

ahem.WHAT.

You have no excuse not to take advantage of some of the great acts coming to the pilot light in the following months. Also Band of Horses and Rogue Wave in Knoxville?! Holla!

stalker

I'm watching Sex In The City and being jealous of fictional characters while popping semi-sweet chocolate chips into my face. Leah would likely be proud. She wouldn't, however, be proud of the fact that I just face book stalked my entire English Fiction Writing class' roster. That's right. I need rehab.

tempting

11:40 PM is in inappropriate time to make cupcakes.....

graphic

ironic

I already loved Band of Horses version of this song, but this one, along with the video, is incredible. It seems ironic that I was just made aware this is a break up song. I thought it was just another love song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvhDCYFesP0

sense of self

Today I was in line at Sonic and I had this weird moment where I thought about how many Sonics there are in the world, and how there is something unique to every country, and what if the idea of sonic was an anamoly to someone in a different place? I thought about how many people hate America, and how it probably has to do with our insatiable, disgusting greed. And then I realized, I'm at a fast food restaurant right now, and I'm one of those people...every day. Then I thought about how our greed has to do with our time, and just how many people live in our world, and how trying to change their minds would be just about impossible. I thought about how if you looked down from outerspace, from the perspective of a greater being, we are like ants in the cracks of the concrete. I thought of us crawling in frenzy. Then I felt nauseas.

overposting.

How is it that I can be SHIT BROKE and still feel the disc exchange pulling me into it's clutches.


this can only mean I'm a junkie.

rain in my eardrums

Last night Nomen Novum, Cool Runnings, and The Royal Bangs played the pilot light. It was sweaty, it was loud, it was awesome. I highly suggest checking out all three. I expected The Bangs and Cool Runnings to be on top of their game(and they were), but I was like who the hell is Nomen Novum? He is a badass, as I found out. Totally surprising, totally refreshing.


Check Him out.

Download his EP "Go Primal"

RIDIC.

So I was listening to the song "143" on the radio and thought to myself "I've only heard one voice like that before." Of course Ray J is on the track, but I couldn't get over that Bobby Brackins' voice sounded soooo familiar. Well familiarity aside, I youtubed the video to try to understand what the significance of "143" is (it means I love you, by the way). I just about shit myself when I realized the rapper on the screen is the same guy I was introduced to by my friends Marrin and Jessica in California summer after my senior year while I was visiting the Bay Area. We even had lunch with this guy, because he is close friends with Marrin. And now he's on a track with freakin' Ray J!!!!! Crazy World.


Check these out, his voice is crazy. love love love.

"143" Bobby Brackins ft. Ray J

"Skinny Jeans" Bobby Brackins before MTV production

"Skinny Jeans" AFTER MTV production, the difference is crazy!

Nilla

Micah emailed me this a couple weeks ago. Apparently I butt dialed him during a walk with Nilla. Now the world has evidence of how my dog purposefully preys upon the full gamut of my emotions. Listen until the end and you might just be rewarded with fits of laughter.

Voicemail

Why I should never turn 21

I know this post title must seem confusing, because as everyone knows, and soon as I was off the bottle I was craving that good ole tennessee sour mash. Just kidding. Not that early, and also I hate whiskey. But anyway, last night I learned something about myself. In a bartender type situation, if someone takes my glass and says "Here honey, let me take care of that for you" and comes back with a fuller, stronger glass, I will drink it, because.... well just because. This is no good because then I don't realize what I've actually consumed and then there's the whole driving thing... Well, not really because I pawned that duty off on poor little Leah who loves me enough to tolerate my loud ramblings on the way to Micah's. Anyway, in the spirit of one of my favorite country songs(judge me, please)...."No matter what they say I've done, Well I ain't never had too much funnnnnn"

I feel like you want to hear this song...don't you. Let me help you with that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmtOfsYr2hg

Thank me later.

strange day

It's been a weird day. I wasn't surprised at all that we had a thunderstorm. It only seemed appropriate on Kristin's birthday considering how she feels about rain.
It seems my past is following me. At some point it will realize I'm running full speed ahead to somewhere far away from here.

shout out

I want to do a shout out to the following:

1. Rosebud Salve lip balm. Cute tin, miracle properties (seriously, it claims to heal burns and diaper rash, besides being the perfect tint and texture for your lips).

2.Sinful Colors Nail polish. At 1.99 a bottle, and with every possible color imaginable, it has my heart. Not too runny, and not too thick either.

3. Maybelline The Colossal Volum' Express Mascara in Waterproof Glam Black. No Clumps, crazy volume. Pile it on( I'm sorry I ever cheated on it with Great Lash).

4. Salon Grafix aerosol Shaping Hair Spray. Found at Walgreen's, it's brushable, soft, and has a great, inconspicuous hold. Now if we could make it better for the environment...

5. Canvas Shoes of any and all color/pattern. I will love you until you stink so bad the world hates me as I walk by.

6. Nonfat Iced Chais from either Sbux or Panera. Panera's for the sweeter side of things, Sbux for the spicy side. Draining my money daily <3

side note

Note to self: Do not facebook stalk people whose life/pictures will only frustrate you/make you jealous/generally pissed off. That was stupid of you. Now, go sulk. You brought this upon yourself.

dress up

Well, I was going to make cupcakes, and then I ate lunch...and didn't have it in me anymore. However, the blog I discovered, Cupcake Bakeshop by Chockylit is DEFINITELY worth checking out. So many creative cupcakes.

So for the past thirty minutes or so I've been playing dress up. That's right. I am THAT bored....and still as of yet unshowered. I'm trying to muster the will power to become hygienic or at least productive. It may just have to come to uploading a portion of the million photos on my camera(s).

lemons on the chain with the v cuts!

oops.

I don't want to detail out how it happened, but Micah and I accidentally interrupted a funeral procession today. Of course we didn't know what was going on until it was too late. I feel that by confessing, I may find myself absolved....eesh.

Also, Leah disapproves of my Cotton Eyed Joe habit and of my metallic peacock hued nails, but I have no immediate plans to change either.

After watching one too many wedding shows(again) I have this pressing urge to get a makeover/poofy dress.

Finally, God Bless New Jersey, and everything that comes from it. This great state has exponentially added to TV's entertainment value, and indirectly, my own happiness.

Actually Finally, to all those hostile picture seekers, I know it's been ten years since I took pictures of you, your dog, your graduation, your vacation, etc.... once I get past being overwhelemed by uploading 123654789 photos, I will get it done, promise.

unsaid

If I construct hundreds of drafts of hate messages, and don't send them...I say no harm , no foul.

sound

"Well I've been afraid of changing, 'cuz I built my life around you."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM7-PYtXtJM

grateful

There will always be the close friends who are there for you and love you no matter if you are wrong or right. The ones who hate who you hate, who love whatever makes you happy.

And then there's that one person who unexpectedly shows up when you're down to let you know they are there. Someone you never would have thought would step in to cheer you up.

I am entirely grateful and flattered to have been blessed by both.

things

Last night I dreamed the world was ending and we were on the run. I also dreamed while making the escape(to where I don't know) I tried to steal my next door neighbor's boyfriend. I haven't ever met my neighbor's boyfriend or thought of him in a sexual way...so that's odd. Also I dreamed I had to not only tell my mother that I was going to die, but reveal to her that I was going to hell because I hadn't lived a Christian life.

Needless to say I am feeling weird today. I have already tried on approximately 4 outfits. The only place I have to go today is the library to return some overdue CDs (image that...ME with a late fee. unbelievable...haha). There could be sushi in my future, but more likely it will be a frozen meal and yet another wedding show via On Demand. I would suggest retail therapy to myself, but I am pretty sure that only works if you have money to spend.

On a lighter note, youtube the PS22 Chorus and prepare to be blown away.

guess what

This morning Micah rolls over and says "what time is it?"

me: "I don't know" "um....8:46"

scarymicah:" what...WHAT?! !@#$ BANG BOOM CRASH"

Apparently his first day at Quaker Steak and Lube began at 9... Thus ensued a frenzied car ride in the rain, with me driving to beat the clock. Needless to say, we barely made it out alive...

But my real hero moment of the day was when I realized I was going to pile drive an adorable turtle into the ground if I didn't slam on my brakes and attempt vehicular suicide by swerving away from this little guy.

When parking to come to his rescue, I came across ANOTHER turtle. I saved two lives today.Make that three if you count Micah....er, his job. Four if you count the fact I didn't die trying to save the other three lives. What the fuck did you do this morning? Indulge in some saturated fats and preservatives? I thought so. I might as well be Bear Grylls.

Haha, that is all.

gypsy feet

My friend Lauren used this term the other day to describe what her granny used to say about her ever present desire to get away. I feel it now more than ever, and can't help but imagine myself on the west coast, in a successful career, with interesting friends and a solid social life. Oh graduation....where are you? I think I just need a little substance to my day to day.