I want

to passionately and eloquently express myself in a way that makes those around me aware of the intricacies of our existence.

butt face towel

This morning I asked Micah if the black towel was dirty. He said no. I knew it was dirty.

After a thorough search of his closet I found a towel that was labeled on one end "butt" and on the other end "face."

I sat it on the toilet so it would be there when I was ready to get out of the shower.

When I opened the curtain, what was sitting on the toilet?

That's right..the dirty black towel.

Micah and I then had a five minute argument about whether or not the black towel was truly dirty and how the buttface towel was "stupid"

I now advise you to go watch the dane cook number on "nothing fights"

to understand the humor of this story.

P.S.-Micah I love you but I'm using the buttface towel from now on.

today

cold chills

geology lab

chocolate cravings

micah's tee shirt

no makeup

blahhhhhhhh

Dear Rachel the barista at Panera,

There was once a time that we bonded over the fact that you "really liked my eyelashes" and I didn't even think you were weird for saying something like that. In fact I was overly appreciative and told you where to get my mascara. You have provided me with numerous bagels in the past, always sliced, not toasted-just the way I like it.

But today, you wronged me.

I clearly said " A dutch apple and raisin with hazelnut cream cheese"

But once at work, to my horror I noticed a small tub of reduced fat plain cream cheese sat in the bottom of that brown paper bag. Plain cream cheese tastes nothing like the flavor explosion of hazelnut. Perhaps it even insinuates that you think I need to cut back on my fat intake, Rachel. I am hurt...scarred, even.

I ate it anyway, Rachel. But it was sad, and I was unable to enjoy the moist goodness of my baked treat. I thought we had an understanding, maybe even something like a friendship.

I was wrong, so very wrong.

I'll forgive you one day, Rachel.

My boyfriend is currently walking around campus with a tee shirt proudly displaying a menagerie of parrots, jungle animals, bunnies, and ferrets. Should I be embarrassed or proud?

I can no longer look at pictures of basset hounds....My vision gets blurry and I think I start to drool...as I roll around in fits of cutesy gurgling noises

I am sick , and so help me, if I get mono again, I'm going to run around kissing everyone on campus until I re-infect the asshole that keeps giving me this disease

oh

hey consequences, what's up?

Just the child masquerading as an adult here.

See you soon!

beer

I was at a party sipping my sugar free rockstar(it was free and I was tired) while everyone is slamming fratty light. I look over my shoulder and this 4 foot tall asain girl is screaming

"YOU WANNA FIGHT ME?!"

6ft tall girl:" BITCH YOU WANNA START SOMETHING?! YOU'RE FOUR FEET TALL"
4ft tall girl:starts crying

2 seconds later they're laughing and smiling and making introductions.
The fight started because they were trying to use the bathroom at the same time.

I learned at this very same party what "bean dipping" is. It was explained to me as a girl reached over and jiggled the underside of my left boob. This is apparently what it means to be bean dipped. Who knew?

Thank you, Natural Light.

This morning Micah made me cinnamon rolls, turkey bacon, and eggs and filled a thermos with coffee to take with me to work :]

" You say it wrong, I spank you, you say it right, I give you a cookie"

-Profesora Salinas on reflexive verbs

flamingo

I want this sculpture in my yard. Seriously.

Heard while walking across the crosswalk:

car at stoplight: "Skip, what happened?!"

Skip: I punched a wall.

hooray testosterone?

happy fridayyyyyy

Presentation

My teacher said something I said was brilliant but I think she didn't really mean it. The way some people get excited over things that aren't that great. Like.... saying that string cheese is brilliant.

It's not really brilliant, but it's not too bad.

I was also informed yesterday that I was being "high school"

you know what I say to that?

I got a hell of a lot more naps in high school,so so be it.

coffeetalk with Kristin today.

reading: Saving Jesus from the Church

a thought: If Jesus' name was like Tom or Bill would more people like him? No stigma attached?

I don't know, I think I want his name to be Esteban.

I want

a white house

in the country

with a peach tree in the front yard

and a basset hound

and a jellyfish

tomorrow

I'm going to find the face of the virgin mary in my fruit salad and announce it to the media, thus creating an international news event and bringing the cash flow from pilgrims traveling to see the holy spectacle.

my get rich quick scheme!

I could also sell my karaoke machine.

bitter

I don't think anyone has sympathy for you when you're bitter

because most people who are bitter, have been at it for so long that it is past the point of pathetic.

the door just opened by itself..no shit.

listening to modest mouse and avoiding bed.

and homework.

TVF

Tennessee Valley Fair.

Worked at the fair for three hrs selling t-shirts.

Apparently t-shirts are barter material for food?

Liiiiiiike......a box full of of caramel apples and cotton candy.(with AND without nuts!!!!11)

and deep fried cookie dough(I know, I know, shut up!)

this is why I truly love the fair. Eff the rides and craft shows, I want calories enough to supply a third world country(although I'm not even sure some fair food is fit for a third world country).

prego cravings

although I am not in fact pregnant, I want chili mangos and chocolate frosting.

the nature of the beast

It upsets me that I have to be afraid to the point of tears to be able to whisper a prayer...a prayer that may or may not be heard.

trust is a rare and strange thing.

megan fox

Is that even how her name is spelled?

I don't even think she's all that attractive.

does that make me crazy?

I'll take Beyonce over Megan , any day.

I also dislike chacos, the texture of starburst, and those nike shorts.

I'm skipping choir because I can't pronounce Phillipino words. maybe it's not even Phillipino. But the song has "ng" in it. I can't say that. I'm not going.

jellyfish, everywhere

my night: Ihop, Walmart, Jellyfish,mango tea, an unexpected phone call, Chelsea Lately, my boyfriend asleep on the couch next to me(making grunting noises)

I think my life is sort of beautiful.

ridiculous

What would you think of a person that lined their wall with PBR boxes?

You'd think they were a pretentious indie jackass , or a fratty douchbag , right?

my boyfriend is neither, but his walls do look dumb as hell.

We're going to Ihop, Hooorrayyyyyyyy

football

I don't really even follow football and I'm damn excited abut how UT is kicking ass.

Also, who knew cheerios were the best game time snack ever?

Ian, I stole your cheerios, but you will never, ever , know. I think that is why they taste so good.

but if you do happen to read this, I will buy you more cheerios.

Micah just popped his back and it sounded like someone jumped on bubble wrap.

I'll try not to get gushy here...but what a cutie.

today is a good day.

A Formal Thank You

to all my professors, for assuming that a long weekend means I can handle a week's worth of work squeezed into three days

to the mold in my apartment, for forcing me to move my shit out my tuesday so they can de-nastify the walls

to chick fil a for delicious greasy goodness

and to first friday, for existing

tonight I was royally banged

by the Royal Bangs at the Catalyst

Holyyyy crap.

What a ballin show!

sneezing

Is maybe the worst possible thing in the whole world when it happens 20 times consecutively in a quiet design class during critique.

What's worse, I think it's an allergic reaction to my new(and far to expensive) perfume.

Maybe I'm getting swine flu. Or maybe all the demons are leaving my body? No one said bless you, so I guess I'm doomed.

When I offered up my opinion on a poster being presented, my snotty voice made it sound like:

I thwink thibs ibs talding adout a pobarized ibbue

This morning, my white linen dress still smelled like sunscreen and the ocean. I'm never washing it again.

Lastly, I'm not going to geology today because it is on the hill and I will sneeze the whole time.

from a brown desk in a moldy apartment

There actually is mold in our apartment. It's underneath the century-old upholstered chair in the "living room" which is actually more or less a dumping ground for my suite mate's Japanese paraphernalia. Mostly of the food nature.My roomie, Meghan, doesn't really have a lot of dishes because her diet consists of Danimals and provolone cheese. I'm actually surprised the living room isn't cluttered with my things, because I am probably the 3rd most disorganized person I know. Number one being my seventh grade teacher, Mr.Rogers. He wore beige sweaters and had long greasy hair and took so many tangents in his lectures you'd start at the Civil War and end at the benefits of Vitamin C. I actually don't know who number two is. Maybe my dad. He likes to bury himself amongst his wires and radios and such, kind of like a safety blanket, I think. I do the same thing only with bottle caps, scrap papers, labels, shoes, etc, etc. I feel like my possessions are not really inanimate but maybe love me back just a little...

I'm excited about Design 251 because I now get to research jellyfish. I don't really feel like elaborating as to the reason. I have begun to draw jellyfish and other sea creatures on everything. Lauren's hand, my notes, Meghan's notes. I give them all mouths and eyes. Most of them are smoking. One had an afro. I feel compelled to give facial features to each and every one. Maybe it's a complex..

So in summation(don't you hate when people say that?) I don't know what to think about this semester yet. I still like my major. I dig my boyfriend, but not the way he squeezes the toothpaste tube,and I hate Andy Holt. The documentary "Dancing Outlaw" recently changed my life. I'm currently getting through Art:21 documentaries produced by PBS and "The Raw Shark Texts" as recommended by the demure and lovely Leah.

Now I'm off to pasta night at the Berry household, dragging Micah kicking and screaming behind me.

~P